Moving to Singapore was quite a quick decision for me since it was in my diary to explore more possibilities and establish a better foundation in my career but it was very surprising to all my friends and family that I'll be enduring not to miss. But the last minute catch ups before I go was one of the most satisfying I've ever experienced- favorite girlfriends and batchmates in ABSCBN, choir mates (Himig Kalinangan), High school friends (since it was also Gale's homecoming!), college friends (and Allan's homecoming! haha), CouchSurfing friends and my best friend Ellese when she told me that I'll be her maid of honor in October! Yey!
Couchsurfing friends, humble and fun as usual.
Taku left for Japan a few days ago and I think I couldn't be away from him too long so I tried sneaking in to his luggage! :)
Just like what Cookie said in her talk in Blogfest Asia 2012, happiness is staying in touch with your friends and family. I'm not sure where this decision will take me but I'm sure they'll hold my hand if I needed to stand up.
They say that a bestfriend is someone that even if you haven't spoken with for years, the friendship remains the same no matter what and when you start talking, it seems like you never fell apart. I feel like a kid now. I drafted this post 3 days before Roxanne got married because I want to express how happy I am for her and how beautiful she is but all I can put were photos and the feeling was really hard to explain. I started crying morning of Saturday, the day that she's getting married because of mixed emotions but when Taku started to laugh at me, I realized that I should get over the feeling and get going for the wedding ceremony.
"Before we get married buddy, let's go to Las Vegas or Amsterdam," it was a promise between us in our younger years that won't be possible to achieve now.
She's my summerbuddy, we became bestfriends during our summer classes in college. Like some couples, our relationship could not be measured by length of being together but its depth. Coming away with her in Amsterdam was not a "pure" (we have a different context of the word) plan, it was because we value being young and marriage so much that we would like to live our lives to the fullest and experience all the crazy mundane things that ever existed in this world (In short, "kabastusan") before finally settling down and have the most beautiful family in the world!
Back then, she felt like marriage was not for her. She couldn't see herself committing herself fully to someone. She has been always true to herself and has always been my mirror on things. She'd tell me if I'm wrong, she'd tell me if I'm right. She'd cheer me up when I feel bad, laugh at me then be straightforward when I look bad.
She dreams with me and get crazy drunk, she'll dance non-stop and laugh non-stop.
But what I always love about her is she speaks out, talk things out but never insist that I need to believe in her because she is right. She trusted me from the very first and she remained by my side no matter what.
Through the years, Roxy taught me things that no one could ever teach:
1. A true friend will always be there for you and will never judge you.
2. No matter what others say you are, don't care and follow your heart.
3. Sometimes, we get so sad that some people turn us down, but in reality, it doesn't matter because they don't care about us. As we get older, we'll learn who matters and who we should value.
She's one of those people who live a quiet life, simplicity at its finest, not bare but full of laughter. She carried herself very well that I am very much proud of.
And now, I don't care that the Amsterdam getaway won't happen anymore! When I think about how happy the two of us now, I couldn't think of writing our stories any better.
Thinking about her getting married made me worried and scared. But I trust her so much and I know this is one of the best decisions she ever made. I know that what she feels is true, there is just one person in your life that will change your life forever and is just in perfect fit. When he comes, all the questions is answered.
THE SURPRISE BRIDAL SHOWER
Among the girls, I just knew her childhood bestfriend, Tin, and a little bit of the sweet organizer, Mica. But it was funny how I had fun and enjoy seeing Roxy crying and laughing. The girls pulled it off very well.
In the photo below, you'll see how scared she is of the thought of "macho dancer." I think she's ready to be a wife. :)
Here's how it happened:
THE WEDDING
I personally like this photo:
And I found new great friends who always complete my buddy's life:
It was a beautiful wedding. I am very honored to witness the love and happiness of a very beautiful couple.
To Wex, words can't explain but yes, I'll not worry and entrust my buddy to you. Please make my buddy happy for the rest of your lives. :)
I think this is one of my favorites among the unlimited interesting things I've done with Taku. For the month of October, aside from the Surprise Party, this is the biggest activity that we have --to host a wedding of good friends (who are Japanese & Iranian/Filipina) so we needed to translate the script in English & Japanese for everybody's convenience.
Above photo was taken on Saturday night while we were practicing and he was so strict while wearing his necktie! :)
The hosting was fun and since we enjoyed doing it, we heard some positive feedback like they liked how we pulled things together, we exceeded their expectations (Did they expect that we speak like high school students because we look like one? haha) and remained calm on the stressful changes in the program. My former boss and his wife even reminisced their own wedding!
But I think the biggest factors why it turned out nicely are because I know my hosting partner a lot that I even know the best time to inject some humor and he knows what are the things that don't need translations among my random unnecessary information. haha.
Photo taken by Chino Batoctoy
I believe harmony and a little bit "adventure" is needed for hosting to become successful. You should know the program flow but you should not be afraid to tweak some things when the situation occurs. And I also believe that people will like what they hear when they like what they see.
And since I think it's unacceptable for a "host" not to dress appropriately and sophisticatedly in a very special occasion like this, I think it might be a good idea for me to share to you my attending-a-wedding-look and how I prepared for it.
1. I tried to be unconventional with the shoes.
Color: Gray with Gold Heels From: Zara
I wanted to have a little twist in the traditional shoes that we wear in weddings and since I usually opt not to buy things that I won't be able to use again plus, I find it easy to walk with this heels, I didn't stop myself to have it! I was glad that its safe and elegant colors matched my dress that I got from People are People. 2. Choose lively colors to match the happy moments!
3. I like fake lashes! :) It was my first time wearing them but I was surprised that they weren't heavy at all! It feels uncomfortable after putting the glue but it feels natural afterwards. I like the drama that it creates in the eyes (with short lashes like mine). And congratulations to my beautiful cousin whom I requested to do my hair & make up, Katchie Mejias, since she was able to fix my ugly eyebrows! I promise not to use eyeliner for my brows again so the hairs will be in order. haha.
4. I don't usually wear French tip on my nails because I'm saving it for special occasions and I feel like it's more appropriate to wear it on weddings since it looks clean and lady-like.
So I think we quite pull it off though I made Taku panicked when I said something that the organizer told me to say which I wasn't able to inform him beforehand and he needed to translate in Japanese right away. With the diversity of cultures of family and friends, it is a wedding that I will never forget, indeed, love knows no boundaries.
And of course, because it's a wedding of good friends!
"Together, I believe we'll change the world" is what the groom said in his vow to his bride which was said in a funny way but sincerely inspired everyone to love.
Since we haven't seen each other for a few months and the last Sake Night hosted by Taku was almost a year ago, I invited the Couchsurfers in Manila to have a Birthday Eve Surprise Party for Taku! (Though I wasn't able to invite everyone cause I couldn't post it in public). :)
The above photo was how I kept the decorations (balloons, cartolina, markers, etc) and beers for a few days. Taku almost saw it! haha.
It was very fulfilling to be able to pull everything off without Taku having any clue. I was very grateful to have the CS Manila helped me out in cooking, setting up the apartment and handling the food delivery, and even in practicing their "surprise" blocking! haha.
"I thought you were a bad liar," was Taku's reaction at my acting skills. haha. I told him I was going to fit my bridesmaid gown for my bestfriend's wedding on Sunday afternoon and asked him to join me in the supermarket in the evening while everyone's dressing up his apartment.
Then we had a surprise video from some Couchsurfers and his friends (from various places) who couldn't make it to the party. It was a very wonderful feeling seeing Taku's eyes got smaller and mouth bigger with disbelief. haha. It was an awesome night, good friends, good conversations, good food! I felt like it was my birthday! :)
So, the photo above is our savings! Yohoo! But as you can see, I'm not suppose to use it for shoes or dress, it says "FOR TRAVEL ONLY" and it's not even mine alone, Taku put some 10 & 5 peso coins there for the past months!
We got a total of 3,500 pesos! I thought we have 6,000 already :( but I'm wondering where could we go with this!
Anyway, since I always keep in mind "to save" and I don't usually buy things that are not "the basic," here's something that I do when mixing and matching with what I have:
This is my headband. I put white ribbon in it and made it a necklace. Yey!
Since this necklace is in my closet for so long (given to me by a gorgeous friend, Rochelle) and I've found a nice white top, I worn it and took a photo cause I want to remember when Taku looked at it 4 times trying not to laugh. Then he sent me a message during lunch saying "How's your curse working?" I swear he's so not into fashion!
But just last week, I had fun having Avocado foot mask with Taku (Korean experience)! Haha.
Look how the guy liked it! Probably, we'll do this again cause my feet got a bit softer.
So here's what happened when Taku visited my hometown:
He worn mask in a non-air conditioned bus because it was too dusty and watched "Lie to me" Season 1 in the entire 8-hour trip!
He was able to use once again the words, "Mano po!" to everyone with glasses and white hair (even to some person we just talk to in the market).
He visited with us Dad's new home.
He tried to pray with the "manangs" for Dad's pa-siyam.
He cooked and goof around while everyone's so amazed that there is a Japanese young guy in the Philippines! (contrary to the stereotype that most of the Japanese in the country are old and likes KTV. haha).
When my sister and I arrived to see dad's dead body, we rushed to kiss his hands and I sneaked in and put my hand near his armpit like I usually do before we sleep. His hands were already cold but where I placed my hand near his armpit was so warm and I kept my hand in it for a few minutes before it gets cold. After a few hours, a middle-aged guy cried out loud over my dad's body. I was thinking that he was my brother that dad has been joking around since when I was a kid but it turned out that it was one of his close friends' son, he's close to my dad and grieving (turned out it was really just a joke. haha).
I heard several stories about my dad that I didn't even know he was doing that made me more proud that he is my father.
People praying for his soul come in and out of the chapel every night and we want to thank them for praying for our daddy as he take his everlasting journey. It was really amazing when I realized how many people was on our side without us even asking them. And when you look at them, they weep and they, too, have lost a friend and a father.
Dad's friends sent support, flowers, mass cards and messages that are strengthening and helping us to make it through the day without daddy by our side. Even Sen. Manny Villar, my dad's previous employer (long time ago) sent flowers and even my Japanese bosses who did't even know where I live.
People from different places went to see him day and night. And at night time, we have to borrow 30 more chairs in 5 days. It was amazing.
There are many of our relatives who didn't leave us every night talking about how he stands up for truth and his generosity. Daddy's brothers together with Mommy's brothers have guarded us and Dad's sisters together with Mom's sisters consoled and gave us hugs that we needed from time to time. Just like what other people say, when someone dies, it becomes a reunion which is a sad truth especially when I catch myself saying, 'kung buhay lang si daddy, matutuwa yun sa...'. But yea, there are unlimited food because people bring food to share to others as they come. We are very thankful.
On the day of his internment, people who would like to see him for the last time almost filled the church.
I think the moment that will always hurt me was seeing mom in that very moment saying goodbye:
It ripped our hearts to let him go but we know he has to and like what my cousin Zarah told me when she dreamed about him, he's happy.
We know he never and he will never leave us, we will stick together no matter what because that's what he taught us (aside from laughing out loud of course! haha).
We would like to thank our cousins, relatives and friends who sympathize with us in this very heartbreaking moment in our family. We will never forget you and may God bless you more!
PS: Here's our Thank You Card for you! We had a hard time looking for good photos of daddy cause you know, he's not into picture. If you have some photos with him, please send it to my email: aimeecyra@gmail.com or tag me in facebook/cyracaparros. Thanks!
I know I've talked about the background of my dad's personality and lifestyle in my blog post about how tweeting helped my dad but I know I owe this story to my dad's friends who are worried about us and about dad. You might not have been able to join him in his last days but I know dad knows how much you value your friendships and how much he cherished you and wished the best for you.
He was always tough. Growing up, I always talk about how scared I am about things especially when I see dad and mom sick or hurt but whenever I say 'I am scared,' dad says 'it is nothing.' He always have a loud voice and a very strict image but the first and last time that I saw him cry was when someone told him that his daughters won't be able to graduate because of getting pregnant. I didn't think about that, but what matters the most to him is relationship.
It was November 2011 when my sister and I rushed to Lopez from Manila in the middle of the night because dad threw up blood. When we arrived at 12 in the morning, he was waiting for us and saying 'I am okay.' He never showed any signs of pain for us not to worry. Holidays passed, then before his birthday, he threw up blood again and rushed to Manila for better diagnosis and medication.
He still said he was okay then he had a couple of endoscopies/ gastroscopies. He was diagnosed of Liver Cirrhosis. Then with his sisters and brothers, he went to another doctor and had a very honest and straightforward diagnosis that his condition was terminal.
Our hearts sank. That was the moment that I was afraid of since I was 4 but I never seen my daddy cried in pain or regret. He talked to us, prepared us and had wonderful conversations. He didn't have list of things for us to remember because each and everyday of our lives since we were born, he was teaching us how to be independent and how to stand for what is right. Even if someone did or say bad things about him or us, he will always advise us to understand why that person has done it and then he will tell us to forgive and learn from it but mean it when that person say 'sorry' and you say 'it's okay.' We never keep bad memories of people because of daddy.
Then he decided to went back to Lopez after knowing most of the things about his sickness. He said he'll feel better at home. Then he continued living his normal way of life and decided to fix some parts of the house because it's not really in good condition. I was amazed seeing him doing the electrical and ceiling of our house. He's always superman.
He continued to go in and out of the hospital monthly, strengthening his friendship with his kumpare, Dr. Joel Arago as he tried to treat him the best way he could. My batchmates who were his nurses developed fondness of him. And his friends in the US like my ninong Leo 'Polding' tried to look for alternative medicines for daddy just like my Tita Billie.
This year's Holy Week, we had movie marathon together and I stalked him in his daily routine for me to be able to report it to my sister who was very busy at work and wasn't able to spend time with him. I found out that he liked lotions a lot. haha. He was biking like a kid and laughing so loud.
Last May, he wasn't admitted to the hospital so he celebrated like a seven year-old and ate ice cream. We talked on the phone and he couldn't stop talking about how happy their high school reunion was and I was thinking that seeing his old friends made him feel better. I want to thank his batchmates (Dekada 70) and wonderful friends for making my dad's last few days a very happy one. Our family will always be thankful of you.
June 11, 2012, early in the morning he went to the diagnostic center at front of our house to have his hemoglobin tested. He was happy and joking around. He let the old people have their tests first since he said he lives nearby. He was smiling to everybody while sitting outside and he was talking to everyone. He talked to Tito Didi and after a few minutes, they decided to have lunch.Then, he threw up blood and after the second one, he was rushed to the hospital by his friend, Tito Nelson and my cousin Kuya Joey with my mom. According to the nurses, he threw up almost half pail of blood. Thanks to my aunts and friends who are working in Holy Rosary Hospital who hugged my mom when she needed it the most-- Nining, K-ham Perez and Reina.
At 2:40 pm, Dad passed away. We truly appreciate that Tita Carol brought me and my sister back home to see daddy the quickest way possible. The pain will never go away, things will never be the same again. I thought it is an exaggeration before whenever I hear people say "I'll trade everything just to talk and hug my dad again," now I know it is never exaggerated but an honest longing.
If you want to see photos and stories of Dad's wake, please check it here. And to know more about him, I'd love to tell you his stories here.
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